You’ve been programming too long when
When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine...
View ArticleComputer Acronyms
PCMCIA People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can’t See It DOS Defective Operating System BASICBill’s...
View ArticleGive a Man a Fish
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the Internet, and he won’tv bother you for weeks!
View ArticleGM Like Computer Industry
At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be...
View ArticleGreat Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that...
View ArticleHeaven And Hell
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The...
View ArticleAddicted to Internet Porn
Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn - During foreplay, he’s always double-clicking your G-spot. - His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser. - When she...
View ArticleComplaint Letter
An allegedly real-life customer complaint letter sent to the NTL complaints dept.. Dear Cretins I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV,...
View ArticleIs Windows a Virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows...
View ArticleThe Less You Know, The More You Make
“Salary Theorem” states that “Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People.” This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the...
View ArticleViruses when they come…
Adam and Eve Virus : Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer. Airline Virus : You’re in Dallas, but your luggage is in Singapore. Disney Virus : Everything in your computer goes Goofy. Oprah...
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